Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize