I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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