i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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