We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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