He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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