Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize