Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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