so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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