the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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