im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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