it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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