he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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