Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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