Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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