4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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