Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize