Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize