I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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