Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
