Is it normal to miss your booty call?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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