I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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