I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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