I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
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The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize