Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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