4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize