i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize