My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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