Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize