Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
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He uses pillows to masturbate.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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