Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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