relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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