WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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