oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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