In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You are the jesus of drinking
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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