So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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