Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize