Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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