you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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