I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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