you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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