It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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