Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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