ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize