he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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