But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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