You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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