sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
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He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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