if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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