I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish my penis had an off switch
Are we in a gay sports bar?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
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I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize