the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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