I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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